I was listening to Pandora (I’m still not cool enough for Spotify) the other day and an older BarlowGirl song came on that really gave me pause. Maybe you don’t know it, maybe you do…
Mirror, mirror on the wall, have I got it?
Cause mirror you’ve always told me who I am.
Who are you to tell me
That I’m less than what I should be
Who are you? Who are you?
I don’t need to listen to the list of things I should do
I won’t try, I won’t try
Something personal you may not know about me is that I have been struggling with self-image and self-confidence lately. In a pretty big way. I feel like I have typed the beginning of the next sentence a lot, but there have been a lot of “firsts” in my life recently. So. For the first time in my adult life I not only own coverup/foundation (I don’t even know what to call it) but I have now officially used it.
Because apparently my skin and my body cannot figure out my life changes and roll with the punches gracefully. So instead I have this stress-induced acne going on and it’s effecting me mentally.
I have never considered myself a vain person, but I guess I’m reevaluating that as well since this is effecting me so much. I have never considered myself “beautiful” and I have never tried especially hard to be beautiful, but I have also never worried about my skin this way. It’s literally always on my mind. Which, I’m sure, is not helping.
Maybe you follow me on Instagram and you’re thinking, “obviously it’s not that big of a deal, you post photos of yourself ALL. THE. TIME.” Yes, yes I do. But have you noticed how my recent photos are not close up and/or I’m not looking at the camera? Ah, you’re getting it now.
But oh my goodness, this song.
Mirror I am seeing a new reflection
I am looking into the eyes
of He who made me.
And to Him I am beauty beyond compare
I know He defines me.
I’m striving to remember that my beauty is not “on the outside”. That my self worth is not defined by outward beauty. That to Him, I am beautiful and that is enough.
Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.
1 Peter 3:3-4
One Comment
Ugh. I know the feeling. I struggled with acne for ten long years. I took every prescription and non prescription drug there was. And still at 30, there is was, like I was 15! Some days I fldidnt want to go to work, i knew people would ask what’s wrong w my face. It impacts your self esteem so much. Then I did whole 30 and realized that I had lots of inflammation in my gut. My gut is sensitive. I healed it with bone broth and took lots of tumeric. I now consume diary very minimally. My face is so much better! Who knew?! So maybe that stress your facing is inflamming your body! It’s not a good thing to struggle to be around people bc of your self consciousness. Just know you’re not alone!!!
Thanks for posting your stories. I really enjoy them because I can relate to you in so many ways. Just remember. You are beautiful and loved by many, the acne is temporary ❤️
Comments are closed.