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Regaining Confidence

I started drafting this blog post and I realized that it was just a little over a year ago that I wrote a similarly-themed update called I’m Still Scared. If you’re not familiar with my fear surrounding horses or the event leading up to my shattered confidence, maybe take a peek at that blog post before continuing on with this one.

It has been nearly 8 years since I witnessed a horse wreck so bad and involving someone so close to me that it completely shattered my confidence in horses. I still loved them, I still craved their company, my identity still felt completely wrapped up in them but I was terrified to ride. Even on a completely broke horse, even at the walk, if they took a step I wasn’t counting on and planning for, I would completely meltdown.

I was so afraid.

Beyond the fear for my safety though, was the fear for my identity. I honestly did not know who I was without horses. I didn’t particularly want to find out but I also didn’t know how to move forward with them, either.

For a girl who needs a plan, not having one was another scary factor.

You know what I did? I pushed forward. And while that sounds all well and good and maybe even a little badass… keep in mind I am writing this blog post nearly EIGHT YEARS later.

Yes, I pushed forward. But it took a heck of a long time to even get to this point. The point where I feel safe more often then afraid. Where I trust my horse more than I question him. Where I have confidence again.

I don’t know your story, but I’m sure you have one. It may involve horses, it may not. I know that life is difficult and messy and events happen all the time that shatter our confidence and call our identity into question.

But I also know we can overcome our setbacks.

It just might take some time.

In 2019 I rode my horse in the beautiful states of Idaho, Washington, and Oregon. I rode over mountain passes, I ate my lunch by alpine lakes, I trusted my horse near steep drop-offs and I felt confident and capable on horseback.

Finally.

One Comment

  • This is beautiful and gives me a lot of hope. I was a 12 year old horse crazy girl when I watched my mom get bucked off. I was home alone with her and she just laid on the ground unconscious. I had to call 911, I thought she was dead. It ruined horses for me for a long time. 17 years later and I can ride at a walk and I love ground work, but I have a long ways to go. Thank you for sharing your experience and healing ❤

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I’M bRIANA

WELCOME TO THE BLOG

Fueled by equal parts horse hair and passion, I spend my days capturing the kinds of images that make you stop, smile and ask time to please slow down. Your story, your love, is beautiful and I can’t wait to capture it in images you will treasure for years to come. I believe in real moments and heartfelt conversations on the front porch. In the kinds of images that remind you of the joy that can be found in the simplest of moments together. 

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