Life

Here’s to 29

I thought I would have something profound to say as I reflect on another year of life, but it turns out that’s not quite the case. In fact, I’ve started this post a handful of times now and have ended up scrapping every attempt so far. I guess sometimes, that’s just the way it goes.

When I reflect on the last year, what comes to mind is that most of my 28th year felt like a year of loss… and what I didn’t realize at the time was that it was actually a year of finding.

It was an exceptionally difficult year of finding God, finding myself, finding a partner, finding happiness. So I guess you could say it was also an exceptionally rewarding year.

It has been a long road of self – self discovery, self awareness, self confidence – that allows me to authentically reflect on who I am and where I’ve been, as well as eagerly look forward to the future.

I started my “adult years” in a box of my own creation. I was planted firmly in my comfort zone and a crow bar couldn’t have pried me out. Yes, I was that bad. I was afraid of literally everything but the most detrimental fear I had was the fear of making mistakes, the fear of failure. I was the cliche “too afraid to try”.

But here I am with 28 years of life and learning behind me, looking forward to the next chapter. My wins of year 28 were:

  • Following my heart, even though it was painful and difficult and messy.
  • Growing as a horsewoman, hauling out to trails and arenas to ride by myself and joining my friends in Wyoming to ride in beautiful country.
  • Pushing on. Let me tell you, I had some dark days. I actually had  a lot of dark days. But there was always something that was pushing me forward, telling me that if I could just get through this one day, tomorrow will come again and I’ll have another chance.

In my 29th year, I hope to continue on my path of courage. I hope I continue to have faith in the future. I hope I remember how rewarding it is to follow my heart. I hope I let go, and let God.

Oh, I have plenty of dreams and goals that are far less abstract, but I think I need to keep those under my proverbial hat for now.

In the meantime, here’s to year 29! I may not be pleased with the gray hairs, but I think I’m proud of who I’m becoming and I’m excited for what the future brings.

Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you always should have been.
-David Bowie

 

 

 

 

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