I have had a draft post called “failure” sitting in my blog queue for… quite a while. And I keep going back to it, opening it up, typing new words and deleting old words. And to be honest, none of it has felt quite right. Because although some days feel a lot more like failures than successes, at least I’m trying.
I’m currently in the process of relocating and that means finding a new job. Care to guess what isn’t easy on the ole self-esteem? Yep, looking for a new job. I’m continually “putting myself out there”, applying for positions, interviewing for positions, and waiting for those phone calls and e-mails with some kind of news.
And it’s exhausting.
I spend a lot of time reflecting and coming to terms with the fact that I don’t have all of the answers. I don’t have a road map, or an instruction manual. But I know who does.
A lot of times I feel like Monica in “The One With The Fake Monica” where she gets called out for “doing it all wrong” and she responds, “yeah, but at least I’m doing it!”
I don’t know how to land another good job, but I’m trying. I don’t know how to run a photography business, but I’m trying. I don’t know how to balance work and life and relationships and horse adventures and dreams and plans… but I’m trying.
And as long as I’m trying, I’m not failing.
Failure is not the opposite of success, it’s part of success.
